Happy New Year!! And so begins a new year. Big deal (and that’s
not sarcasm). These major transitions of dates fascinate me. I dunno why. Like
my birthday and new year. I just love watching the date change. Sometimes I even
find myself watching everyday dates change and the clock striking 12.
Last New Year’s eve I was at my boss’s farm party and then we
went to a mall and hung out for a while there and I returned home sneakily ;)
It was fun. This New Year’s Eve was ordinary. I really like the idea of celebrating
the change of years but never quite have done it except in 2011 I guess when a cousin
was over and we did the countdown, cheered and hugged each other. This time I’m
on my own, sitting in my blankie, tapping away at the keyboard. I always want
to do something special to celebrate New Year. Perhaps I will get to celebrate
it at least some time in my life. Joking about being at Times Square on New
Year, maybe one day I will be there.
So let’s have the year 2012 in review. It started off good as I got
an excellent increment. After that, it was all downhill from there. Things at
work place were out of control and crazy, getting better only around October.
Had a tough time at the university, getting nothing much in return. There were some
things which hurt me badly, with no words to describe what I passed through. Some
revelations which shook me through, tore at my heart. But I did survive so I guess
what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And that’s what has happened. I have
learned about people more than any other time in my life, even more than 2011; about
different kinds of people, about how to be around them, about how to deal with
them. I have not perfected everything I’ve learned but at least I have some
additions in my knowledge. This has been the most educational year of my life. I
have had grim experiences which have taught me a lot and I have learned to
tough all of them out. I feel old but not wise because I have made mistakes and
bad choices. I’m hoping there are other things too which I learned in this year
and they do me good later on in life. Unfortunately, I do not seem to recollect
any major achievement in 2012. But I guess if I have survived another year, I did
achieve something after all and even the worst wasn’t too bad.
A friend asked me what my New Year’s resolutions were and I told
her I’ve been trying to think of some for two days now but honestly I have not
really succeeded. Even if I did, they wouldn’t really work anyway. Besides, if
there is something life has taught me, it’s that I cannot plan anything. So if I
say I’ll do this in 2013 or I want to do that in 2013, that’s sort of planning,
expecting, wishing – all the things I try my best not to do. But here’s a word ’try’.
That I can do – for everything I want and everything I wish.
I don’t know what this year holds for me, I’m not really looking
forward to anything, not really planning anything. Just hoping I see good times
for myself and my family, achieve something, be good to people, try to be a
better person, have fun, work hard, learn more, explore, groom myself,
experience new stuff and last but not the least, find a better purpose to life.
I will continue to dream big, will keep on fantasizing no matter how absurd
because there is no cost and no harm in that. I will also make a lot of
mistakes and I will somehow justify them like always, but not without learning
from them too. Lastly, if there are lemons in store for me this year, I have a
lemon squeezer ready in my hand to make lemonade. If there is any achievement
or happiness waiting for me, I’ll cheer for it, cherish it and be grateful for
it.
Toast to an eventful 2012, and to a surprises-filled 2013.
God bless us all!
